Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
