Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Randomize
