im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I'm just crazy horny about you
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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