how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize