fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
