I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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