arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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