omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize