Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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