he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
