Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
