Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Randomize