She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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