she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
