I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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