did you get engaged???
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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