Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
