i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
