its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
