i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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