we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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