He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
