Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
