she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Never underestimate the power of titties
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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