I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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