This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
