Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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