well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
