also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
