you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Little spoons don't ask big questions
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Randomize
