i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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