she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
