found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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