Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
