She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
