You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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