why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize