I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
We have so much sex to catch up on
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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