4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
