Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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