After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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