how can u be prego again
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
he fucked my hip out of place.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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