Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
