I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
