Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
