Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
