Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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