Please, let me fuck your mom
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
