ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Alive.
So much puke
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
