May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize