are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
