we're chasing vodka with high fives
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
