Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
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