i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize