I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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