She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
