hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
