kristin has been a bad kristin
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
