a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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