Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
