There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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