White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
