we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I smell like Dick and happiness
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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