you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize