If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
