She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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