found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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