was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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