It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
