and my herpes radar will keep us safe
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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