Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I'm passing your future prison.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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