I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
