either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
