I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
