I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
