I CAN MOONWALK!
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
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