Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
