im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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