I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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