I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
