Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
If I die, sorry about rent.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
