She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
