Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
