I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
