and next time when you feel me up, do it right
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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