We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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