do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I want her autograph on my taint
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize